"I don't know about you, but I am still recovering from watching America's Next Top Justice last night," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show, and he indirectly explained why: "I had a little drinking game: I would pour myself a drink every time my glass was empty." But thanks to President Trump picking federal appellate Judge Brett Kavanaugh as his nominee for Supreme Court, at least "I have Trump nomination BINGO," he added. "See? It's all squares that say 'White Guy.'"
Colbert said he was skeptical of any Supreme Court justice named "Brett," but noted that the nominee's "full name is Brett Michael Kavanaugh, so it is possible Trump thought he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of Celebrity Apprentice Brett Michaels. At least we'll know his stand on the landmark case of Nothing v. Good Time." Everyone is wondering about the future of Roe v. Wade, he added. "Some fear Kavanaugh would overturn Roe, while others hope Kavanaugh would overturn Roe. Either way, Kavanaugh took great pains last night to reassure us that he knows some women."
Of course Trump probably picked Kavanaugh for a completely different reason, Colbert said, pointing to the judge's 2009 argument that Congress should pass a law exempting a sitting president from criminal prosecution, investigation, or questioning from prosecutors or defense counsel. Kavanaugh didn't always feel that way — he helped prosecute President Bill Clinton — but he had a change of heart working in the George W. Bush White House. "So he thinks the president should be above the law because his job is hard?" Colbert asked. "Well in that case, I say moms of three or more kids ought to be able to murder at will." He went on to touch on Kavanaugh's gun-rights opinions and why he's sometimes called "the Forrest Gump of Republican politics," complete with clip. Watch below. Peter Weber