×
October 12, 2018

"As you probably know by now, there was a ranting lunatic in the Oval Office today — and he had to sit there quietly as Kanye West did this," Trevor Noah said on Thursday's Daily Show, teeing up a highlight reel of some of the deep ruminations Chairman Kanye shared with President Trump. "You know, Trump's mouth said 'That was impressive,' but you could see he was thinking: 'Is it racist if I call the cops?'" he said. "And I'm not a fan of this new Kanye West, but I will say I really enjoyed seeing Kanye make Trump feel the way Trump makes us feel every single day."

"So today was a weird day for President Trump, and I hope that he didn't catch up on other news after that meeting," Noah said, explaining authorities found a wall-nullifying, solar-powered, rail-equipped drug tunnel between California and Mexico. Also, the first lady explained the origin story of her "Be Best" anti-bullying campaign. "Wow, okay, I'm not going to lie, that's disappointing. Like, I though Melania Trump was inspired to fight cyberbullying because she cared about other people, but no, it turns out she created an entire campaign just to help herself," Noah sighed. "I can't wait to see what issue Melania finds important next." He had a suggestion. Watch below. Peter Weber

2:05 a.m.

Besides bamboo, there's nothing Mei Xiang and Bei Bei love more than frolicking in the snow.

The giant pandas live at the Smithsonian's National Zoo in Washington, D.C. During a snowstorm on Wednesday, Mei Xiang, 20, and Bei Bei, 3, went wild, tumbling and doing somersaults on the fresh powder. When they weren't rolling around in the snow, they were climbing trees, falling down from trees, and stopping for bamboo breaks. Watch the adorable video below. Catherine Garcia

1:38 a.m.

He's young, he's shirtless, he's ... Abraham Lincoln?

For years, an eight-foot sculpture titled "Young Lincoln" has been on display inside the Los Angeles Federal Courthouse. Made in 1941, it's the shirtless, smoldering version of the 16th president, complete with the limestone Lincoln tugging at his waistband (before you get too excited, he's got a book in the other hand). Someone recently snapped a photo of the sculpture and posted it online, and now, people are having a field day renaming the piece, calling it "Babe-raham Lincoln," "The Gettysburg Undress," and "Honest Abs."

The sculpture was made by James Lee Hansen when he was only 23, and at the time of its unveiling, he was criticized for not putting a shirt on the president. Hansen explained that "from a sculpturing standpoint, it's better to show the body without any clothes. That's why I left 'em off." While he could have followed up with "F.D.Rawr," "Young Lincoln" was Hansen's only sculpture of a topless president. Catherine Garcia

12:57 a.m.

"It's a strange and disturbing news day in America — The New York Times summed it up with their new slogan, 'All the News That's Ick to Print,'" Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "And the icky part, I gotta say, starts with Empire actor Jussie Smollett," arrested Thursday for allegedly faking his own hate crime. "Now, this story involves race, sexuality, politics, and violence, so I need to tread very lightly here and simply say: What a dick," Colbert said. "Smollett cast himself as a fake national symbol for our real racial and political divide." He outlined the case.

"Look, I'm no expert, but if you're going to fake a white supremacist hate crime, hire two white guys," Colbert suggested, not two black brothers. "Smollett also — and this is a conspiracy no-no, paid the brothers by check. Come on. It did not help that he wrote in the memo line: 'For faking hate crime against me, Jussie Smollett, the guy from Empire.'" This whole case "is a horrible affront to actual victims of hate crimes," he added. President Trump, of course, attacked Smollett on Twitter.

"But Smollett isn't the only icky news today — last night we found out the FBI has arrested a Coast Guard officer who was planning a rampage against Democrats and journalists," Colbert said. "The officer in question, Christopher P. Hasson, once wrote a letter, 'I am a long time White Nationalist, having been a skinhead 30-plus years.' Thirty years? That is a long time. He is close to skinhead retirement. Soon he can cash in his 401(KKK)."

"So this man is a homicidal, racist monster, serving in our military, but don't worry, the commander in chief slapped him down with a savage tweet of ... nothing," Colbert said. "Silence. Hasn't commented. It makes sense: Hasson only wants to kill everyone on earth, it's not like he's hosting SNL." Watch below. Peter Weber

12:32 a.m.

Special Counsel Robert Mueller's final report on the investigation into Russian meddling could be issued as early as next week, and if that's the case, Seth Meyers think President Trump might be preparing an exit strategy — with an assist from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

On Thursday's Late Night, Meyers went over the different ways Trump may have interfered with the probe, including firing former FBI Director James Comey after he refused to drop an investigation into former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, and then bragging to Russian officials about it. "The evidence is clear, when this is all over Trump's either going to go to jail or he's going to have to resign and flee and join the Space Force," Meyers said.

Should the report come out next week, its release could coincide with Trump's scheduled meeting in Hanoi with Kim. "If that happens, there's a good chance Trump just won't come back," Meyers said. Pretending to be Trump, Meyers added, "Kim, you've got to smuggle me back to North Korea. Hide me in your coat!" Watch the video below. Catherine Garcia

February 21, 2019

Trevor Noah was skeptical of Empire actor Jussie Smollett's hate-crime story before Smollett was arrested on Thursday for allegedly faking the attack, but he was incredulous after Chicago police and prosecutors laid out the evidence. Like Smollett's alleged motive: "Are you kidding me? This dude may have faked a hate crime just to get a raise?" Noah asked on Thursday's Daily Show, struggling to find the logic: "You get your ass beat, and then you go to your boss and be like, 'Hey, can I get another million dollars? I need to buy some band-aids'?" He suggested blackmail as a better alternative.

And paying your accomplices by check? "What, did he also write 'Fake Hate Crime' in the memo?" Noah asked. "Even amateurs know if you commit a crime, you go all cash, people! No paper trail!" The bottom line is "if he did do this, Smollett did a horrible job with this fake crime," he said, playing one more detail involving a camera failure.

"So Jussie is potentially going to prison for a while, and in his wake, he has screwed over everyone," Noah said: Members of the gay community, Trump supporters, and Democratic candidates who decried the attack. The only winner here is Subway, he added, for reasons he explained, "but there is a silver lining: When this started out, it was a story about people who hated Jussie Smollett because he was black and gay. But now, people hate him because he's an a--hole. In other words, they're judging him on the content of his character and not the color of his skin. And that, my friends, is progress." Watch below. Peter Weber

February 21, 2019

A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched an Indonesian communications satellite and Israel's first lunar lander Thursday night from Cape Canaveral.

This is historic for two reasons: Israel has never before tried a lunar landing, and no one has ever launched a privately funded moon mission. Called Beresheet — Hebrew for "in the beginning" — the spacecraft is roughly the size of a washing machine, and is expected to reach the moon in about two months. The nonprofit organization SpaceIL is behind the $100 million mission, and says that Beresheet has already started sending data back to Earth.

If it makes it to the moon, Beresheet will transmit photos and measure the magnetic field of its landing site. Due to the high price of rockets, SpaceIL chose to tag along with the Indonesian satellite. "This is Uber-style space exploration, so we're riding shotgun on the rocket," SpaceIL co-founder Yonatan Winetraub said. Catherine Garcia

February 21, 2019

A species of giant tortoise thought to be extinct was found on the Galapagos island of Fernandina this week, Ecuador's ministry of the environment announced.

The last time a Chelonoidis phantasticus, also known as the Fernandina giant tortoise, was seen alive was in 1906. The tortoise spotted on Sunday is a female, and likely more than 100 years old. Researchers took the tortoise to a breeding center on Santa Cruz Island, and she is now living in a special pen.

Based off of tracks and feces found by the researchers, they think it's possible there are other Fernandina tortoises on the island. "This encourages us to strengthen our search plans to find other tortoises, which will allow us to start a breeding program in captivity to recover this species," Galapagos National Park Director Danny Rueda said in a statement. Catherine Garcia

See More Speed Reads