March 24, 2019

Nearly everyone wants Attorney General William Barr to release the entire report of Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into whether the Trump presidential campaign colluded with Russian election interference. It's fair to count Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) among those ranks. Sort of.

He did, after all, contribute to a nearly-unanimous House vote in favor of releasing the full report. And when the congressman called into Sunday's edition of Fox & Friends, he admitted to Fox's Katie Pavlich, per Mediaite, that President Trump should, indeed, declassify everything in the report.

Nunes just doesn't really care what it says.

He said that he wants to do away with what he considers a "partisan" investigation altogether. In fact, he wants to burn it. Watch the clip below. Tim O'Donnell

Tim O'Donnell

7:02 a.m.

Attorney General William Barr will hold a press conference at 9:30 Thursday morning to discuss a report the press won't be able to read until Thursday afternoon. Special Counsel Robert Mueller won't be there, and neither will any of his team of investigators. In a joint statement Thursday morning, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) characterized Barr's press conference as an "indefensible plan to spin the report," which, combined with other aspects of Barr's "regrettably partisan handling of the Muller report," has "resulted in a crisis of confidence in his independence and impartiality."

"We believe the only way to begin restoring public trust in the handling of the special counsel's investigation is for Special Counsel Mueller himself to provide public testimony in the House and Senate as soon as possible," Pelosi and Schumer wrote. "The American people deserve to hear the truth." Peter Weber

6:30 a.m.

Jake Sherman told Stephen Colbert on Wednesday's Late Show that the Politico Playbook he puts together twice a day with fellow reporter Anna Palmer is basically a combination "between Walter Cronkite and Gossip Girl." Colbert called it "the most influential newsletter in D.C.," and he asked Sherman and Palmer: "Is anybody talking about anything in Washington, D.C., other than the looming Mueller report?" They agreed: No.

The reaction to Special Counsel Robert Mueller's redacted report, which Attorney General William Barr will release Thursday afternoon, "depends on where you sit," Palmer said. "If you were in the White House and you were interviewed, you're very nervous about what could come out," because "you could become a target of the president." Colbert asked why, and Sherman explained it "might not look great for you" if you shared a conversation involving Trump with "a former FBI agent who's investigating the president." Colbert rephrased that: "So you'd be in trouble for taking an oath and not lying?"

"There's no way Democrats are going to be satisfied, no matter what happens," Sherman said, but timing-wise, "this couldn't be better for the president and the White House. Congress is out of session," and "the Capitol's empty" for 10 to 12 days, thanks to the Easter-Passover break. Colbert suggested "that's got to be purposeful," and Palmer conceded "it's very fortuitous, at the least." Right, Colbert deadpanned, "Barr just luckily put it out when there's no one around to talk about it."

So what happens next? Impeachment seems unlikely, Sherman said, "but we'll see how bad this is for the president. We have no idea how damaging this could be or might not be for the president." "But we do believe that it is going to be damaging," Palmer added. "This is not going to be, like, sunshine and roses that are going to come up after the Mueller report for this administration." Watch the interview below. Peter Weber

5:01 a.m.

While President Trump "waits for someone to convert the Mueller report into a finger-puppet show, he is keeping his thumbs occupied" tweeting about Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "Sanders did a town hall on Monday night on Fox News, which left Trump feeling burned." He read Trump's tweet complaining about Bret Baier being too "smiley and nice" with "Crazy Bernie" and asking Fox News, "now we have Donna Brazile?" "We?" Colbert asked. "Mr. President, on behalf of the American people everywhere, let me remind you: You don't work for Fox News. They work for you."

"Trump wasn't done stewing about Bernie," suggesting Fox News "stuffed" the town hall with "Bernie supporters," Colbert noted. Trump also predicted he will face either "Crazy Bernie Sanders" or "Sleepy Joe Biden" in the 2020 election, adding: "May God Rest Their Soul!" "Is he going to campaign them to death?" he asked. "I mean, sir, we'll let you get away with 'Lock her up!' but I draw the line at 'Dig the grave! Dig the grave!'"

Jimmy Kimmel took issue with Trump's nicknames. "Is Joe Biden sleepy?" he asked on Kimmel Live. "I don't know, to me he always looks like he's been up for two days eating cigarettes." Besides, he's already nicknamed at least four other people "sleepy," Kimmel noted. "This is lazy, though, this recycling of the nicknames. I think Trump might be losing his touch." "Crazy Bernie" and "Sleepy Joe" sound less like slurs than characters in a Bruce Springsteen song, he said, turning to an expert to find out what's going on with Trump's name game.

At Conan, Conan O'Brien actually thought Trump may have had a point about the Fox News town hall being "stuffed" with Bernie bros. Peter Weber

3:49 a.m.

At a House Financial Services Committee hearing on March 26, Rep. Andy Barr (R-Ky.) invited Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez "to come to Eastern Kentucky, where thousands of coal miners no longer have paychecks," and listen as they "tell you what the Green New Deal would mean for their families, their paychecks." Ocasio-Cortez, one of the leading proponents of the Green New Deal, said she'd be "happy" to go.

Last Friday, Barr added some conditions to the invitation, asking Ocasio-Cortez "to apologize for her comments to our colleague" Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) "before she plans her trip to Kentucky." He cited her criticism of Crenshaw's criticism of Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), explaining, "We need to treat all of our colleagues with respect and dignity." Not everyone is convinced civility concerns prompted Barr to effectively disinvite Ocasio-Cortez. Rep. James Comer (R-Ky.), for example, told a local Kentucky news station he didn't "see any upside" to bringing Ocasio-Cortez to Kentucky, explaining that she is very smart and "I think a lot of Republicans are making a mistake picking on her."

Ocasio-Cortez may go to Kentucky anyway, with or without Barr's permission, communications director Corbin Trent told The Courier-Journal. "Luckily, we still have open borders with Kentucky. We don't need Congressman Barr to meet with coal miners and have a town hall, though we'd love his participation if we do." Trent, a Kentucky native, elaborated Wednesday night to MSNBC's Chris Hayes. They both appeared to think Barr lost his nerve.

Barr's district doesn't actually have any active coal mines, though he "has consistently been among the top recipients of the coal industry's campaign cash since first running for Congress in 2010," The Courier-Journal notes. On Wednesday night, Ocasio-Cortez tweeted, "Surprise! I know more about West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky & Appalachian communities than they think I do," thanks in part to staffers like Trent, adding: "I suspect underestimating women is the GOP's kryptonite." Peter Weber

2:00 a.m.

After two years, Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report will be made public Thursday, Stephen Colbert half-celebrated on Wednesday's Late Show. Attorney General William Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein will discuss the report at 9:30 a.m., before releasing it hours later, and it "will undoubtedly blow the lid off Donald Trump's corruption," Colbert deadpanned, holding up a dozen eggs. "Until then, I will pass the time counting my chickens, which I will safely place in one basket."

"One person who's likely to appear in the report is WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange," dragged out of Ecuador's London embassy last week "looking like Gandalf the Douche," Colbert said. Why did Ecuador revoke his asylum after seven years? "Well for one, Ecuador's government accused him of spying on other countries from their embassy and of hacking the phone of their president, Lenín Moreno, then posting this picture of Moreno eating lobster in bed," he said. "Also, Assange, it turns out, is the worst roommate on Planet Earth."

According to embassy staff, Assange rode a skateboard in the halls, played loud music at all hours, walked around in his underwear, refused to care for his cat, stunk up the embassy with his lack of personal hygiene, smeared feces on the wall, and he'd "always take what was clearly marked as 'Ecuador's Yogurt — Do Not Eat,'" Colbert joked. "To back up their point, Ecuador leaked this security camera footage" skateboarding badly.

"Now, a lot of people have been worried about the cat — remember the cat that he's not feeding?" Colbert said, and he used Embassy Cat's outfits to pivot back to the Mueller report and Russian collusion.

The "known tie to Russian intelligence" is the one holding the cat. Watch below. Peter Weber

1:30 a.m.

Energy Secretary Rick Perry has spent the last few weeks seriously considering leaving the Trump administration, and is coming up with a final exit plan, people familiar with the matter told Bloomberg on Wednesday.

Perry, a former governor of Texas and Dancing with the Stars contestant, has been preparing Dan Brouillette, the department's deputy secretary, for the transition, two people said. His possible departure has nothing to do with President Trump, Bloomberg reports; Perry, 69, wants to leave so he can "build his income before retiring."

Trump and Perry get along well, and prior to pushing out former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, Trump asked Perry if he would take over for her, people familiar with the matter said. Perry declined the offer.

Not everyone believes Perry is ready to go — one person close to him told Bloomberg that the secretary has not made up his mind yet. An Energy Department spokeswoman did not confirm or deny the report, instead saying Perry is "happy where he is, serving President Trump and leading the Department of Energy." Catherine Garcia

12:54 a.m.

An exhausted and frail polar bear wandered into a village in Russia's Kamchatka Peninsula this week, more than 430 miles away from where it should be, environmental activists said Wednesday.

"Due to climate change, the Arctic is getting warmer, hunting environment gets smaller and less convenient," Greenpeace's Vladimir Chuprov told The Guardian. "The ice is receding, and polar bears look for new ways to survive. And the easiest way is coming to people."

Residents of Tilichiki have been feeding the bear fish, and say it hasn't shown any signs of aggression, Russian media reports. Authorities on the peninsula are working on a plan to get the bear back to the village of Chukotka, and will likely attempt the rescue later this week. As of now, the plan is to sedate the polar bear, and use a helicopter to airlift it back up north. Catherine Garcia

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