President Trump is in Britain, and the U.S. State Department warned Americans in London to keep a low profile to avoid trouble from the large anti-Trump protests. Thursday's Late Show offered some tips for blending in:
Regardless of protests, Trump will have tea with Queen Elizabeth II on Friday, and Stephen Colbert imagined how that might go: "You know, Your Majesty, I was watching The Crown on Netflix. I've got to say, you used to be smoking hot. I mean, like an 8 — 9, metric." Trump started out Thursday in Brussels, forcing an emergency session of world leaders by reportedly threatening to withdraw America from NATO if NATO countries didn't increase their defense spending. One attendee said in that meeting, Trump spouted "a stream of incoherent sentences" and "the allies looked the other way as when the old uncle gets nuts." Colbert found that unfair to old uncles. "Trump's more like old angry guy yelling at bus stop wearing grocery bag as pants."
Still, Trump declared victory and claimed that NATO had agreed to unheard-of increases in defense spending. "Getting the NATO countries to agree to more spending is an accomplishment, and I never thought I'd be standing here saying the president did a good job," Colbert said, "and I'm not, because Trump's claim is false. Nobody agreed to spend more than the previously agreed-upon 2 percent target. He's taking a victory lap for stuff that was already going to happen!"
Trump went on to say there's nothing he can do if Russian President Vladimir Putin denies meddling in America's election of Trump — Colbert disagreed — and called Putin a "competitor" but not a "friend" because "I don't know him well enough," and Colbert found that plausible. "Makes sense," he deadpanned. "It's really hard to become friends with your boss." Watch below. Peter Weber